the poker face

Taken at the Huntington Gardens in June 2007. I love the purple against the green and the drops of water.

I went for a late coffee with Chris last night and we stayed until the place shut down. Then we continued the conversation in his car while looking at the stars. It's sometimes surreal getting together with really old friends. With all the time that's passed, you almost meet as new people.

We talked about some things we're going through and the growing up we're trying to do, and the issue of staying positive came up. He said he's perfectly content for about a week before becoming self-deprecating and frustrated the month after. I could only sympathize since I go through the same vicissitudes myself, but we didn't complain about life and call it a night. We got to Cooley's theory of the looking glass self and how people define themselves as the projections of others. Oftentimes we can't help it, but we should at least recognize that we do it. I depress myself with what others think I should be and where others believe I should be; I let them pick at my confidence. He said to forget all that, step back, and work with the resources you've got. And if you don't have the same advantages, make do and do your best; that's what brilliance is and he knows I'm better than this. But I know we'll both lose the feel-good feeling by next week. How do we hold onto good advice?