musings

Taken at the LA Book Festival April 2008. The towers are of course part of Royce Hall at UCLA.

From yesterday at Starbucks:

[ 12:31pm ]

I used to read fantasy books growing up. Dragons, witches, sword fights. The basic plot was always the same – a team of good goes to fight off evil – but I couldn't get enough. I don't why it was interesting then or why I don't read them anymore. The worst though, was when they started coming out with those choose your own ending books. It somehow lost the excitement, not knowing what the writer intended to happen. I felt like I was gypped somehow, but why? They gave me choice, a chance at participation and I just wanted to know what was supposed to happen.

I think the problem was that you didn't know what you were choosing at the time. It wasn't like you'd read the original ending and could choose to believe something different. You only knew that instead of buying a sword, our hero bought some rope instead. Then the story played out accordingly, but you never knew where the sword decision would have taken you, unless you went back to read the other alternative, but of course this spoiled the whole point. I guess that's where my love for fantasy books ended.

Sometimes I wonder how my life could be different. What if I'd gone to that school? What if I was this major from the start? What if I'd dated that guy instead? Would I be happier, worse off or would I still be here? I wonder if life is mapped out, if people are destined down a certain path, regardless of which road they choose. Perhaps these all converge because of who we are, innately. But what if life is ultimately about choices? What if we missed success or real happiness because of just one wrong turn somewhere? How do we find our way back and would it ever be as good as sans detour? I grasp the pointlessness of dwelling, but I sometimes wish I had an alternative ending in my pocket.